Trying to get over a recent heartbreak there were a few things I realised I had approached it the wrong.
I’m the sort of person who looks at everything in life as an experience that shapes and defines me as a person. That would include heart breaks, betrayals, etc. Life would be pretty dull without some drama after all :).
So when I broke up with my Ex, I looked only at the good times and put the bad ones at the back of my head, convincing myself that it was good while it lasted and I won’t regret it. It was all good. I went on a short vacation to Spain, got back and got busy with new activities such as rock climbing, dancing, etc. It was all good. I barely thought about him. But then, as fate would have it, my peace of mind was not meant to last.
This time, it was a little harder due to a feeling of betrayal. I stressed over it for a month. But then, last night, I saw a dark side to him. I saw all the ugliness. And I was over him all of a sudden. A face that once seemed peaceful to me just seemed evil all of a sudden. Kind eyes seemed to be filled with malice and the smile a sneer. And all of a sudden, I realized I had no feelings for this person. I probably never did. It was the thought if wanting to have some feeling that probably even made me cling to it. But it meant nothing now.
I realized that it’s a lot easier to get on with your life when you see the negatives or the relationship than the positive ones. The positive ones just make you cling on to it longer. Maybe, someday, when I know I’ll never go back to it, then I’ll look at the positives and be fine with it. By then it wouldn’t even matter. But the initial stages when you need closure, the negatives work the best. Seeing the cons and keeping your mind busy, channeling all that thought into something more creative and fulfilling. An idle mind always, try as we might, tends to harbor negative thoughts.
So be strong, move on and not look back. Make use of all those thoughts to come up with beautiful things in life. Plan a trip, learn something new, take up a new hobby. Theres so much to explore out there! Life will always have new surprises in store for you and everything that happens is for a reason. And each experience will make me a better person with a positive outlook and not a bitter one with a negative outlook. So cherish this life, love yourself and move on.